Losing My Way

I wandered naked in my dream, through a thick fog that felt like a blanket against my flesh."Kaylen! Kaylen! Where are you? I have to see you again!" And since this was a dream, I saw him coming through the fog, and he was naked too. I started crying: he took me in his arms. "O Kaylen, I thought I'd never see you again," I sobbed. "Don't worry. I'm here now," he said as he rubbed his cock against mine. "Not a word now. Let your mind flow." And like a raging torrent, my mind surged forwards. Our cocks were hard now, and we kept rubbing, and I imagined him on top of me, ramming his cock up my ass. "O Kaylen!" I shouted. "Shhhhh..." and he put a finger to my lips, as we kept rubbing our cocks together.

His name is Kaylen, and I think I love him. He held the door for me as I went into the library. I entered the outer door with the automatic door and he thought it was funny when I said 'Hocus pocus, alakazam' as I pressed the button. He held the inner door for me and I thought since it was open I might as well go in that way. Then we shook hands and he told me loved my spirit. He continued through the lobby and I went into the library, and I knew right then that I WAS IN LOVE. He was 30 years younger than me but he was in shape and had such a nice smile. I will dream of seeing him again, and pray he feels the same about me. I wish I had gotten his phone number. I didn't expect to fall in love today. My cock is hard as I write that but I LOVE HIM. I WANT HIM SO BAD!!! O Kaylen I'll be yours/ just say the word/ and I'll get on my knees/ so that you will be pleased... If anybody reads this, yes yes yes that means I want his penis in my mouth, please Kaylen put y...

They're in my mind!/ Infinitesimal ancestors/ dancing in the lane/ that's leading to the grave/// Do I need to explain the terrot?/ Do I have to relive the pain/// To amuse God, I will scream/ I can set it to a beat/ that could make a robot love/ and forgive us all our sins./// These words seem strange to me/ thoughts from a life that had never/ felt the cold winds of history/ that put them in my mind.///

I homosexualized Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2, inserting lyrics about a cock i have to see and touch and taste and feel go up my ass; o fuck me Franz fuck me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooooooooooooooh kind of overdid the exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's cuz I love thinking about penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ain't nothing than a penis that I touch gently and then lick softly and put my lips around and SUCK SUCK SUCK so off with my pants I see a man who will FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MANY DAYS SINCE I WROTE ANYTHING AND NOW THT I DO PENIS IS THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOH I'M HOMOSEXUALIZING VON SUPPE AS A POET A...

The lion entered on soft feet/ sneaking in to our surprise./ We had expected a mighty roar/ and moonlight's glint on his claws./// These days belong to the God of War/ but he can't harm you as much/ as you can hurt yourselves.../ so said the lion in Velvet tones.////

Nothing to say today but I say it anyway. S/ill doing time for my crimes but no reason needed for the rhymes. Just a scream to end the dream but is it ever how it seems? No one to kiss and share the bliss of my abysmal ignorance. Hey Lord what do ya say? I am waiting to hear from you today. Nothing? Tha/'s so deep. Makes me glad to awaken from my sleep.

It's time I write a novel. Of course it will deal with great great moral dilemmas which have troubled humanity since the invention of agriculture, as well as being full of action and romance. The introduction will be by Allah J. Yahweh Himself, which definitely a good beginning. All conventions of genre will be rigidly followed until it cracks open and spills into the cultural zeitgeist like the great Molasses Spill back in Boston about 108 years ago, and feathers strewn about so all Who Read It Shall Have Wings! I aim for something like Ulysses with real blooshed, looser plotting and a bigger role for the cat. This is my Christmas present to myself and the world. That's bound to make all of society lament my pitiable fate.

I am watching Godfather 2 as I begin this diatribe. It is what made me think of how horrible sequels are. Godfather 2 is well made, but when the action moves to Cuba, that is where it fails completely. The original Godfather was a classic, and its creators should've been satisfied in making a movie perfect in every detail. Instead, they decided to cash in, and though they made a very good movie, it displayed all the flaws usually found in sequels: more of the same, new characters who don't measure up (I'm thinking of you Fredo) and situations that don't make sense. The violence in The Godfather has great impact, because it's Shakespearean in its use. The sequel has more violence and is erratic, even silly.. Of course, as sequels go GF2 is not entirely bad, not like Jurassic Park movies, which deserve an MST3000 treatment, because they are as bad as the movies shown on the Satellite Of Love. In fact, Jurassic Park sequels are worse than Gamera movies. At least on...

Doggy got left behind/ he can't understand why/ it's too much for his little mind/ no matter how hard he tries/ 4x>no matter how hard he tries/// Doggy's always been there for you/ where you went doggy went too/ picked you up when you were blue/ now doggy don't know what to do/ 4x>Doggy don't know what to do/// Doggy feels so very sad/ that you treat a good doggy bad/ but he can't get mad/ if you come back then he'll be glad/ 4x>just come back & he'll be glad/// No matter what doggy will be there/ he's not going anywhere/ so let all the people stare/ Doggy's gotta know that you still care/ 4x>let him know that you still care/////// (repeat 2nd verse) good doggy

I write this as a service to humanity. It must be translated into every language on Earth, plus a couple from the planet orbiting Sirius, where the Dogon came from, and every child, of all ages, should read it, at gunpoint if necessary. Perhaps an audio book, though I can't imagine who would the perfect narrator, aside from a few dead actors who don't talk much anymore.

Using his hellish power. Satan. looked through what I had written so far. His curls fluttered as he shook his head. 'Not very promising so far,' he said with a sigh. 'You're just saying that,' I muttered. Feigning shock, he said, 'Would I lie to you?' I started laughing. Damn, this was Satan; of course he'd lie, maybe not right away, but when the lie could be believed, it would be told. I found that funny, so funny my sides began to ache. Satan rolled his eyes as he watched me. "You're very weird," he said. "I am not used to being laughed at." "Come on dude. You're a funny guy and you know it."

"It has come to my attention that you are planning to write a novel without me in it," Satan said to me while we both shopping at a dollar store. "Yes, that's right," I told him. "So what?" "Well, it seems to me that by writing in your book that I won't be in the book that you have put me in the book." I grabbed some chocolate covered mint cookies and placed them in my cart. "I hadn't thought of that, but just mentioning you doesn't make you part of the story," I argued. His eyes burned red as he sneered. "My friend, it most certainly does. So I suggest you let me defower some nuns, or have a Cardinal give me head."

Years passed after that tiny truth was uttered and I became a man, of no great importance but a lure for troubled souls. This tale concerns a few I met along my way. All good people lost in the eddies of the river of time, trying to get back into the flow of life. I believe they found me when I was stuck on a sandbar and nudged me back into the current. So will it be a happy tale? I hope so. All these great authors and others usually entertain me but they are so mean. That Dostoevsky fellow isn't happy unless there's murders and suicides and constant suffering, and what he did to that nice Prince Myshkin was so cruel. Why couldn't The Idiot have ended with the prince becoming a private eye in Moscow? Instead...I shudder to think about it. Read the book and be horribly depressed that an author could be so mean to such a nice guy. God, I hope nothing like that happens in my story, but I digress.

Where do I start? How about at the beginning? Well then....once upon a time, there was a Big Bang, though I doubt there was any sound, and since no creatures yet existed to hear it, it's just as well. 13.8 billion years, 9 months, 2 days, 13 hours, 16 minutes and 42 seconds later, I was torn from my mother's womb, and there was a Small Scream.

Wilting in the sun, all was dead, but from death new life comes. No tears need be shed.

Nearly a whole month since my last words. Was it because of my queer song, in both definitions of the term? Not this time: I will write about books. Funny though....I am writing this on my phone, which gives me choices, and the choice given after 'about' was between Cock and Ireland, and by some miracle I didn't start writing about a cock getting hard as I stroked it, and no man was telling me to put it in my mouth. No, it's books I will write of, but what book? I used to review every book I read. It see.s so long ago. Sadly, there is no critique of Don Quixote, which is about the time that I stopped reviewing books. Too bad. That was a good book, full of florid language and crude comedy. No wonder it made others want to write novels, for better and worse (mostly worse, as shown by Sturgeon's Law). Perhaps I should write about everything I have read, from Pynchon to Dostoevsky and the life of da Vinci, and Victory: An Island Tale by Joseph Conrad, perhaps the ...

Here I am writing again and I am very excited to see naked men having sex with me and I think about sucking cock really well; that would be fun since it could lead to getting my ass fucked FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED¡¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O and I wanted to be so good and only be all literary and on the second day I am writing about Cock and how much I need to get a hold of one and put that cock in my mouth. Put that cock in my mouth PUT THAT COCK IN MY MOUTH¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I say good man will you recite my new poem while I suck your cock? So he recites my poem as I put his cock in my mouth. I like penis cuz I'm a genius/ I want one up my ass/ a nice cock up my ass up my ass UP MY ASS//// I want a nice cock up my ass////// Fuck my ass and soothe a troubled soul///// I think of your cock as salvation////// Hallelujah o Jesus watch me suck a cock////// that will soon go up my ass///// I feel like a genius//// when I get fucked up the ass////// I am a genius so Fuck my ass/////...

I didn't write one word in February. I played piano and performed a couple of times at Gingko's and saw lots of movies. It has gotten to be a habit: seeking out old movies to watch, sometimes picked out just for the title or a certain actor. They range in quuality from rotten to sublime, like the one I saw today. Green For Danger, with Trevoor Howard and Alastair Sim as a Scotland Yard inspector; it was worth watching just for Sim's performance. Anyway, I will try to write more often. I only wrote this because I was too tired to read but not tired enough to sleep, and extremely annoyed by some witless music. How often it is that the bad brings something good.

On the day the world ends/ there will be lots of games/ & people will dance/ & all alone in a dark corner/ someone cries someone cries/ all alone in a dark corner/ someone cries///// No joy in these tears/ only bitter pain/ memories of a love/ he'll never see again/// Peace o peace the end has come/ no more need for tears/ Rejoice! The end has come////

Up here there are no troubles/ up here I feel no pain/ W0hen the show is over/ and my guitar's been put away/ the world comes rushing in/ 6seking vengeance/// Forgive me Lord/ for all I did not do//// Up here my heart's not empty/ up here I'm touched by grace/ When I am finally alone/ with no sound to soothe me/ the world comes rushing in/ seeking vengeance///