Losing My Way

I have not eaten a thing for 36 hours, because some internet scumbag offered me a prize for only $5 shipping and handling, then tried to charge me $19.99, for something else that I was not informed of. Why this continues is an indictment of our dysfunctional government, which pursues phony issues while doing nothing about crime being done right in plain sight. Because of this scam, I lost my debit card and have to wait a week to get a new one. I couldn't pay my phone bill, and had to pay my service providers $20 to change my due date, which was all the cash I had. Meanwhile I have $115 I can't touch.

The Republicans blew it back in 1865. The leaders of the Confederacy were traitors, and they should've been hung. Treason calls for the death penalty, and by showing mercy to those who didn't deserve it, they helped usher in over 90 years of Black subjugation. If I was Black, I would never vote for either party. The Democrats were the architects of this shameful Era in American history, but the Republicans let it happen and bear a good portion of the blame for their inaction.

I used the word 'nigger' on a comment on a youtube video. I was told after finishing that I had violated community standards, and was given a chance to edit my remarks, but since nothing was misspelled, I declined. So far, I've heard nothing further; for all I know, my comment wasn't even posted, which would be a shame, since it took 18 minutes to write the comment. What I find so troubling is how squeamish Americans have become. That the word has been used in bad faith by many ignorant, hateful people in the past, doesn't change the fact that it is just a word, and it's silly to me that it's okay for rappers to use it, but not for country-western singers.

The rising waters, swirling winds, do not frighten me, for I am solid, unmovable. The currents of the world leave only the slightest mark on me, and the whirlwind passes, finds me where I have always been, waiting for a sign. Once I am aroused, the result will contain more fury than wind or wave can muster.

One thing I hate is when I want to comment on some music I am listening to on YouTube, and it says the comments are turned off. From Coltrane to Metallica, and all points in between, and it's always very good music worthy of comment.

Overpopulation threatens the Earth. I believe the worst part is that the amount of oxygen available to each of us is less than in the past. Perhaps that's why we can't perform the wonders common in the past. That argument could be refuted by pointing out today's wonders, but today there is no magic, only technology.

Time to go back to serious writing. Every 3 days won't cut it. I must get back to creating again, not just writing book reports.

What can I say about James Joyce novel, Ulysses? I finished it about a week ago, and it still resonates with me? Why? Nothing really happens. A funeral in the morning for old Dignam, a discussion about Shakespeare at the library...some singing, then some events of a hallucinatory nature, and a final chapter that's a 70 plus page run-on sentence. It makes me think the novel was a joke by Joyce, a way of seeing how gullible the lierati were. It also makes me wish I had a copy of my own.

'This country's going to Hell in a handbasket,' Uncle Dave declared. His surrounding relatives shrugged. They had heard it all before.

He was sitting a a library computer terminal, tapping away. Nothing monumental...barely even trivial, but he kept typing as if his life depended on it, or at least his sanity. The sun was dipping low, soon to vanish beneath the horizon, and he would have to return to his bunk, surrounded by so many people, none of whom he cares for, and none who cares for him. Being there, he understood why people lash out blindly. He had standards luckily, to keep them all safe and him out of an even nastier place to sleep.

I had to go to Minneapolis last Thursday. It was Possum Day, so the libraries in Saint Paul were closed so the librarians could have a Possum Day party, with pay and a possum juggler too. I had to go to Minneapolis to find an open library. The library was very nice, but the city surrounding it was miserable, full of cold people. No one would say hello, despite the cheerful greeting I gave them. It was very depressing. I guess that's what happens when you don't celebrate Possum Day.

I am seriously screwed right now.

I consider improvising music in its purest form. Attention to detail is the key: where will one go, and how to get there without derailing the express. Who even does that anymore? I could play totally improvised tunes off the top of my head, but then I come up with something I can remember, and then I play it over and over again, with a little change from one time to the next, but after doing the same thing it's become a real song and might even get a name. I wish I could find someone brave enough to jam with me on stage.