I've Been Sick

I can't believe it's been a whole week since I last entered anything on my blog. Given how I felt, it's not surprising. I lost my voice Tuesday, my lungs were filled with fluid, and I haven't slept through the night since then, which I'm sure doesn't help with my condition. I'm only here because of a sudden, soul-crushing depression coming on, so I'm listening to Hilary Hahn play the Violin Concerto of Sibelius as I write of my malaise. If I never get my voice back I don't know what I'll do; singing is such a vital part of me, and I hate to say I can't live without it, but I can't live without it. I have improved since Tuesday, but this moment is the first time since my illness struck that I have felt so blue. Perhaps my mind refused to indulge such dark thoughts during the worst parts of my sickness, and it's a sign of health that I can allow myself these moments of despair. It seems so ironic.