Will I Be Noticed?

Lately, I have been inviting gay men to read my blog, but they probably don't want to read. People don't read like they used to, whereas I am only beginning to make a habit of reading again. It's a good thing to grab a book and read at the end of the day. It helps to take the mmind away from the little problems, or major catastrophes, one might face. I wish I had put the blog's address in my profile, so now I put it in all my responses to men who want to chat with me. Many of these guys are from other countries, so I wonder what they could want with me. But it doesn't hurt to try to get a plug in. I guess that's an innocent phrase that someone could take the wrong way, if they were so inclined. I guess I'm really hoping to have a lot of homos reading my blog, since friends and family won't read it. Lord knows I made them aware of it, but like I said, people don't like reading, not even bite-size pieces like this. Maybe if I rubbed my crotch as I wrote as I ran the other hand up my shirt, all of it captured by video sent live to the world of men who love men. I get excited writing those words. Since I moved into the shelter, I haven't had much to fire my imagination. A lof haters there...I can feel it. One man did touch me once on the shoulder, but I haven't seen him since, and it probably wasn't a gay thing, of that I am certain. I wonder if the poor fools there can detect my sexuality, by the way I cross my legs or how I talk. Am I being paranoid? Is it a place I could fantasize about? Am I going to wake up one day with a man sitting on my bunk, stroking my hair and putting a finger to my lips before I can say anything? Will he make me sit up so he can sit besides me, and we can kiss while all the poor slobs around us sleep? O GOd, I think, we shouldn't do this, but I have to do what he wants, whatever he wants, and soon he is putting his hand on my head and forcing my face up against his crotch. I shed tears as I unzip his pants, because I can't stop myself from giving into his passion. "Yea, that's right, that's right...suck me off bitch suck me off." And I do, I hate it but I do because I love it gotta have it, gotta have a cock in my mouth, love the feel of his hard cock in my mouth. "Just imagine it up your ass," He whispers, and now I'm hard and he knows it. He pulls down my pants, and now my panties are showing and I am so afraid, but I won't let the fear keep me from sucking his cock. I let him cum in my mouth and swallow it like a child who hadn't eaten in days. Too bad that couldn't happen.