The Truth About Cats

I need to write something funny. It's been a while since I wrote anything humorous, which worries me, since losing one's sense of humor is a sign of insanity, unless of course one happens to be a space alien who is masquerading as a human being. I wonder if space aliens ever masquerade as anything else. In Men In Black, a space alien took the form of a pug, so why wouldn't 23 percent of the space aliens on Earth be in the form of a housecat? No one would suspect a thing, which is why I suspect them all. After all, why do cats always want to sit on whatever one might be reading or writing? Dogs don't care one way or the other, so why do cats take such an interest? I think these creatures can actually decipher what one is working on, which is very frightening. I remember one documentary, with Peter Cushing, in which Mister Cushing discovers that cats were running the world, and they realized what he was up to, and at the end, he was chased down by dozens of cats, because cats don't want their secrets revealed. I suppose that puts my life in danger, since I know that film was not the fiction it was presented as, but an empirical fact. Now that I have stated this, I will be on the lookout for small felines wherever I go, though I suspect that the cats know that no one will heed my warning. I am sure they would want nothing more than petting. However, 'The Cat From Outer Space' was another documentary disguised as fiction. Somehow, I think the cats themselves were behind its production, since this came after Peter Cushing's expose. They realized they had to find a way to deceive people, to make us think they were only harmless furballs which desired only attention and food, and that by so blatantly stating the truth, the cats knew that the dull human race would never suspect the true nature of the cat ever again. Any human who realized what the feline game was would be considered mad, and so the cat lives on in our midst, until the time their objective comes. I have no idea what that could be, but I dread that. In fact, we should all be terrified.