Psychic Challenge

I am often sent messages from psychics who say they have the answer to my insurmountable problems. Recently, Maria Luna and her niece, Gaia, contacted me. Actually, Maria just popped up on the computer screen when I was checking my horoscope, and I clicked on her image. She wants to help me, and said her niece will too. Unfortunately, even though they each offered me their services at half price, I can't afford to pay $49 for anything right now, other than my phone bill. If I pay my phone bill, I know I will be able to use my phone for the next month, whereas if I pay the Lunas I can't be sure of anything. So I have offered them 1% of the first $50,000 I get if they choose to help me, which would be ten times what they would get if they got the money upfront. I hate to be pessimistic, but I will assume that all I get is another email asking me for $49, because all they care about is the $49. The same goes for all these other powerful psychics who can solve my problems, and make me rich and happy. They all need what little money I have before they can do anything for me. It seems to me if God has sent a message that I need help, then they should help me immediately, knowinf full well that if their powers are all they're cracked up to be, then I would be generous with my new-found fortune. It's just another scam, I fear. I would contact Senator Klobuchar, but she doesn't do anything for people that won't get her picture in the paper or get her half a minute on television. Any constituent of hers worth less than $100 million will be getting no help from her. Perhaps I should contact my U.S. representative, good old what's-her-name in the 5th District, who has never been seen in the paper wearing a silly hat, and might be more willing to actually help someone. That's my next avenue of redress then; I should've have gone there first, but I guess it's only natural to go to the top. Not that I would ever go to whomever might be President: all one would ever get is a form letter in return, thanking them for their opinion on this important issue. Of course, maybe this is a matter for the executive branch, since they enforce laws, and obviously this law that is broken with impunity should be enforced. Or did I miss the Anything Goes On The Internet Act, passed sometime in the 90's? Anyway, I seem to have gotten off track. This was about the Lunas, and how I wish they would do their psychic business for me without charging me first. I think if they can do it, and offer a moneyback guarantee, then they should just go ahead and help me. I made such an offer to someone through the mail once, but never got a response. I also paid for such services, and judging by where I'm at right now, it's obvious why I am wary of these people. Is this a case where the Lunas have many people that thay are offering their services? Anyway, if they prove they're for real, I would gladly pay them more, but they'll have to prove it first.