Bitch Bitch Bitch

It's good that people are willing to help the detitute, but there's a certain lack of class to the endeavor. I know I shouldn't complain, but when I ate at the Dorothy Day Center on Thanksgiving, the lettuce in the salad had wilted, and on Friday the milk tasted funny, not laugh out loud funny, but they should make yogurt out of this funny. Today I had the milk, and it was obviously the same milk, because it was nearly sour. As a poor man who's happy to be alive and with my body intact, I am grateful for just about anything, but sour milk is never acceptable, nor is wilted lettuce. Shouldn't pigs be eating this? Yes, feed the pigs the wilted lettuce, then let us eat the tasty pork products; that's how it should work. Now I suspect that the rich will start to harvest us, because the rich know they won't go to heaven so they as well be cannibals. It's probably not true, and won't be for the forseeable future, but when Mister Bezos is willing to spend half a billion on a boat and the poor are served wilted lettuce, something is wrong. Is there any solution to this poor use of resources, without resorting to Communism, which never works and allows those in power to reap the rewards while the poor stand in line for toilet paper? Yes! The answer is to make the rich have a certain number of poor friends. I think 5 would be a good number. Then me and my good buddy Jeff (Bezos, that is) could spend the day on his superyacht. I bet it has an auditorium, and Jeff bought me a Gibson Les Paul and a baby grand piano so I could go down there and jam. 'Play Freebird!' Jeff yells as I'm making shit up, and of course I play 'Tobacco Road' instead, then segue into 'Spoonful' because just because he's rich I can't let him rule my artistry. But then 'Freebird' is a great song, and just like the Bird did 'Melancholy Baby' and Zappa covered 'Whipping Post' because people kept yelling for those songs, I would do it as an encore, and Jeff would go wild. 'Here, Tommy, have some money. I'm not even going to count it, because you rock.' See how much fun poor people can be, richfucks? I feel sorry for you rich people, hanging out with other rich people who you probably don't even like, just because...why? Why do you hang out with boring assholes? Well, the new friendship law will force you to make enjoyable friendships with bums, not the kind of dull friends you have now. If your new poor friends get dull, or suddenly have too much money, you can have a big fight and make a new poor friend. Of course, you will be allowed to pick your own friends, because the government would not pick out friends for you, nor should they be allowed to. Freedom of association is an important right and our rights should be preserved, but in this dire situation we in America face, it is time for rich and poor to unite against the big government incompetence that some would jam up America's ass. I know the Democrats mean well, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, isn't it? Remember how you Democrats declared War on Poverty? How did that go? I know...Poverty won. It wasn't even close. Government should stick to police, military, and infrastructure, because that you can handle, and everything else, let the free citizens of America solve these problems for ourselves. Maybe the rich would be generous if you didn't want to tax them so much, then waste the money you get. End bureaucracy! Poor people, try sleeping where rich people congregate, and tell them stories and sing them songs. I know rich people are lonely, and they need our friendship. For the good of our great country, let a rich person take you out for lunch, and talk him into letting you sleep on his couch.