Adrift On A Lonely Sea

And where do you go now/ Now that you've lost your way?/ Wherever the wind takes me/ Though I'll have nowhere to stay// I belong nowhere to no one/ with nothing to call my own/ with no one to turn to/ so onward I shall roam// Circling on the endless sea/ no one in sight to rescue me/ There's no way I can be saved/ from the crashing of the waves/ onto the rocky shore/ At least I'll cry no more// That's depressing. Luckily, the brain likes to balance pain with joy, so my inner depressive state reacts to sorrow with glee. No wonder I would just to kill myself, but I can't let the bastards win. I would like to think I have someone somewhere, who might do something to get me out of this rut, but I know I don't. I've been thinking about an old high school friend lately, but he's happily married I assume, with a nice house, and I'm sure he would talk to me, but invest in my mad schemes? I remember him saying he would kill me if I dressed like a woman, and since that's what it's all about, he's hardly someone I can turn to in my hour of need. I'm sick of living like this, but since I'm not ill I trudge along my merry way, adrift on a lonely sea. Could someone new enter my life? I suppose, but the door is open, the roof has blown off, and the walls have fallen, and I see no one. I suppose there's a seed to another song in that last sentence, another song of woe and how hopeless it all seems. I feel like a little boy trapped in a well, who no one realizes is missing, and since he's an orphan no one thinks about him much at all. Will the water rise to drown me before anybody does? This blog is my call for help. The echoes of my screams are drowned out by the noise of the world, which is too busy racing towards its doom to stop to pick up one more tortured soul.