A New Business Model

I want to start a philosophy business. I wonder how that would work. Do I charge by the word? I doubt that's a good idea, because it would encourage unnecessary talking, and would run contrary to the core belief of my particular philosophy: the more that is said, the less it means. As I demonstrated a couple of entries ago, I think the on-site approach is best. I get paid to just hang around being philosophical, questioning and making profound statements when the situation demands it, as well as playing a few songs here and there. Corporate clients won't get the music, of course, because they would find it hard to fit that into their schedules, but I am certain there would be more to question, and questioning is a certain path to improvement. The problem people have is taking things for granted, for things that can not be questioned invariably are things that are of little value. That would prevent new ideas from gaining ground that are worthless, as seems to have happened a lot recently, and would gore some sacred cows that have outlasted their usefulness, if they were ever useful at all. I need some business cards, and some kind of motto. Those are mere details, of course, and it could be if I only get one client, that would be all I need. Perhaps the U.S. Senate could use a philosopher, because there seems to be little philosophy behind the workings of government, which explains a lot about how America has ran into its current sad state of affairs. I know President Biden likes to say that climate change is an existential crisis, but I doubt none of our leaders know what existential means, and I am certain that Kierkegaard rolls over in his grave every time some politician uses that word. With me there to advise them, I would say that each time you use a word because you think it makes you look smart, it has the opposite effect. If it is being used because you are certain that your constituents don't know what it means, then the people will figure out they are being conned, and whatever you're selling they will refuse to buy. Maybe each Senator should have their own philosopher to keep them from saying stupid things: imagine how much ink that will save each year. I prefer one philosopher for all of them, though, but it has to be me. Not one of those deadly, dull, book-taught Ivy League philosophers that they would go for. The only good philosophy today comes from the School of Hard Knocks, where I have studied for the last 40 years, and which has taught me well. Philosophy took a wrong turn after Socrates drank the hemlock. Diogenes was cool, but Plato turned it into the dull mess it is today. Rene Descates tried his best to rescue it, but that would have meant the entire word based order that philosophy relied on would be toppled, and thousands of scholars would have realized that all their studies had been in vain. So that leads to me, a homeless, destitute, queer transvestite, to rescue wisdom from the institutionalized amber it has been encased in. Just writing that sentence makes me want to quit right now and lay down in the gutter to die, but what fun would that be? And my philosophy is all about the joy that philosophy has lacked since the death of Socrates, and which, to me, is the only valid reason to have a philosophy at all. Otherwise, let America be damned by the crass fools on both sides of our current political divide, because without joy, life means nothing. Of course, does life have to mean anything? I would think it does, but if not, it should have joy, for without joy what good is any endeavor? Why would we have the capacity for pleasure if all of society's forces conspire against it? Obviously, society is wrong, as usual, and I must combat it, one opened mind at a time. As of now, I plan on no philosophical treatises, just a book of poems and a couple of stories, and some music, because since philosophy is inherent in everything we do, there is no need for any books of philosophy to ever be written again, just a need for philosophers to be present to help society take the proper course for the needs of its members.