Not Again

Needless to say, I didn't handle losing my phone well. Not that I handle anything well lately. I can still function, but thoughts of death are oppressing me, and the total lack of love, let alone respect, is a constant invitation to suicide. But I won't kill myself just because I am penniless and homeless; I can't think I am suffering this much for nothing. There has to be an unknown reason for me to still breathe, and I refuse to surrender. Of course, that belief could be a delusion, but maybe a delusion isn't always a bad thing. From madness, joy/ gives me the power to destroy/ all that pretends to be holy/ but is just a greater sin. From sadness, love/ there can never be enough/ I can't pretend to be wise⁰ I'll just fool myself again